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According to Paul, the apostle of this Christ, love “does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth” (1 Corinthians 13:6). It is in keeping with this general purpose of Christ for His own wife, that I want to stress to you one aspect about love: Love does what is right. And then, no matter what it costs us initially, we have the privilege to seek her true beauty in holiness, just as Jesus Himself sanctifies and washes His church that “He might present to Himself in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing but that she would be holy and blameless” (Ephesians 5:27). That especially is Christ-like love, and Christ in us can do this. Just as He did not wait for us to become lovely before He loved us and died for us (Ephesians 5:25), so also, we have the privilege to love our wives, even when they are unlovely. Now regarding love, where do we start? So much could be said! Perhaps the broadest thing is the unique way that we as husbands can imitate Jesus in a marriage. Therefore, because she is your choice, you must learn to love her.Īnd that brings us to the second half of our proverb: “Choose your love, and love your choice.” Of no other woman will you be able to say, “God has granted me this woman.” Regardless of how much her looks or personality may change (and both will!), these two facts will remain. Moreover, as we learn from the Garden of Eden, she will uniquely be the one God Himself has joined to you.
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Out of all the women in the world, she alone will be “the wife of your youth,” to whom God Himself will hold you accountable as the witness of your union, according to the prophet Malachi (2:13-16). She will be the only one you have chosen to be your wife. Consequently, you will have no right in the future to go looking around and say to yourself, as my girlfriend back in the pie restaurant may have done, “Maybe I should have chosen a different one.”Īt that point in your marriage, I want you to realize how special your wife will be to you-how uniquely special.
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This is your choice, and it is a free choice. Now, I’m not trying to discourage you, but I am trying to prepare you to own up to this fact: You are right now choosing your love. Words are muttered under your breath, eye contact is avoided, and you begin to think that fishing more often might be a good idea. Instead of feeling that wonderful rush of “love,” which marriage counselor Gary Chapman rightly calls euphoria, you begin to have other feelings. Nor as loving.” Instead of seeing her as “the most beautiful among women,” the phrase used of the Shulammite in Scripture (Song 1:8 6:1), you now notice that there are, in fact, quite a number of women more beautiful. “Hmm, she’s not as pretty as I thought she was. Perhaps I should have chosen a different one.” Now, do you get my point?Īt some mile down the marriage road, reality sets in. “Hmm,” she says, “this is not as sweet as I thought it would be. However, I want you to imagine what my future wife may have felt when her chosen piece of pie finally arrived. Now, perhaps you did not agonize over the choice of your bride the way that some young men do. She was paralyzed!Ĭan you feel it? The pressure! The need to make the right choice! “I won’t get another chance, so I had better make the absolute best choice.” Can you see the reason for her indecision? And the reason I can is probably due to staring at it for half an hour as my girlfriend (my future wife) could not make up her mind what to pick. I can still see this arrangement in my mind over thirty years later. You name it and beyond, it was there, and all displayed on a large arrangement of circles hanging above the pie cabinet. When my wife and I were first dating, I took her to a pie restaurant famous for its large selection of pies. It is not a biblical proverb, but an English proverb that has helped me many times, both personally and in counseling others, and it is a proverb that I would like to share with you tonight.Īn old Puritan once said, “Choose your love and love your choice” (Henry Smith). In order to make things memorable-especially given the euphoria of young love that renders the mind a bit numb at moments like this-I would like to hang my remarks on one peg, on a proverb. Since we talked last summer and I left the invitation with you (under no expectations) to seek me out anytime for counsel, it became my desire to have that opportunity, and then, suddenly and unexpectedly, the Lord answered this desire of mine through the invitation to give this charge to you on your night of blessing. This evening is an unexpected blessing to me.
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